4 Important Factors in Finding Your Rainbow in Therapy
As the work of therapy begins, there are times you will want to run away from treatment. These feelings are quite common, but it is not necessarily a good idea to act upon these feelings. Why? It is because you cannot even imagine what you will find at the end of your rainbow.
There are many reasons to stay in therapy, especially when you want to run away from it. The unsettling feelings that make one want to quit treatment may have to do with various factors, including:
1) Uncovering Suppressed Feelings
Therapy puts us in touch with painful, long suppressed feelings. The discomfort may make us feel that if we leave therapy, the painful feelings will disappear. The fact is, however, those feelings will not disappear. They are pushed back into our minds again, as they had been in the past. Sooner or later, they will resurface to disturb us and our functioning.
2) Experiencing What Seem Like Misdirected Feelings
Therapy could ignite intense and uncomfortable feelings with and towards our therapist. This is not unusual, and contrary to what one might imagine, is actually good for the therapy. In therapy, old feelings experienced with one’s early caretakers and other important people may become mobilized and directed towards the therapist. A competent therapist will know how to help us deal with these feelings. Experiencing and understanding these feelings with a professional therapist gradually facilitates deeper understanding of issues in our lives, thus paving the way for useful changes.
3) Dealing with Relationship Issues
People we love might find the changes occurring in us to be uncomfortable or difficult for them. Loved ones need time and communication from us to understand that the purpose of therapy is not to rupture existing relationships. A useful therapy, and changes resulting from it, should actually deepen existing relationships and make them more authentic (as long as the relationship is not a toxic one).
4) Understanding Our Own Internal Struggles
There may be a struggle between a part of us that wants help and wants to understand why we do what we do, and another part of us that wants to stay with the old and familiar, even if difficult and painful. Such a struggle is common and human; in turn, we should respect and tactfully work on the struggle, not ridicule or treat IT as something one should “get over.”
Understanding the working of our minds is not an easy task, and trying to change problematic aspects of ourselves takes time. It requires great courage, but nothing that is truly important in life is ever easy. Good therapy is worthwhile with useful outcomes and positive changes in us, our relationships, and often, by extension, in others around us.
As a clinician with my own personal experience in intensive therapy [psychoanalysis], I genuinely understand the fears therapy stirs up in us. Often, we may want to stop treatment or take a break from therapy at the exact times our most important work is about to start. I say kudos to those of you contemplating therapy, making the first call, or already starting treatment.
If you feel like running away at any time, just remember: We cannot even imagine what is at the end of the rainbow, until we really get there.
Dr. Abbasi
Dr. Aisha Abbasi is a psychoanalyst, psychotherapist, and psychiatrist in private practice in West Bloomfield, Michigan and Tampa, Florida.
Dr. Abbasi has been voted (by other physicians) one of The Best Doctors in America for 19consecutive years.
For more information, or to request your free phone consultation, contact Dr. Abbasi today.